Not Right Now, But Soon

How can I stop this, The feeling isn't logical, The anxiety has no root, The brain is shouting to get up, The heart has sunk to my boots.

It started with an itch, Followed by a shake, Which was noticed but ignored, Until it was pointed out, Innocently and without hate. A routine is laid in front, To help calm the panic, The routine is completed, Yet the panic remains, How do I stop this? It's sunny outside, I can hear my kids playing, They don't know though, Their dad is a joke, Crying in his pillow. Old habits want to creep in, Where is the nicotine, Would that help stop this, I don't know, I just don't want to be me. This feeling will pass, I know it will, Logically I know, I whisper at my anxiety, To just take it slow. I will slow my breathing, I will get out of bed, I will apologise profusely Not right now but soon, Once I feel straight in my head .